Sieve Them All
For quite a while now, I was made to believe that self love in itself is toxic. Did I believe it? Of course not!
Not when those who made me believe so rejoiced in my absence of it. What’s worse? To be made me a slave of other people’s insecurities or to be used to fill their self projected gaps?
Someone who is never ready to confront their demons will hate you for it. They will try to zap you back into despair whenever you try to get back at reality.
They would rather love you when you do not know your worth than contain you when you finally know it.
You will be loved for your open kindness but come at when you finally set high boundaries for self. The backhanded statements will eventually make sense.
They will love you because they can use you. They will love you because you’re too available. They will love you because you’re lacking at self. They will love you for them.
They will hate you because they know what you’re capable of! They will hate you because you finally woke up and enough was finally enough for you to take in!
We take a big part in not showing up for ourselves too. And before we even know it, the doubt, disgust and lack of esteem has already crept in.
I have met several people who acknowledge that they’re mostly the problem in most situations but then proceed to do nothing about it.
Acknowledging with no accountability nor need to change is nothing if you’d ask me.
That used to be me. I could not tell the difference and, on and on it continued.
Acknowledging seemed easier while taking accountability, overwhelming. So, I did nothing.
I played a huge part in letting myself down over and over again that when I decided to eventually work on it, I knew there were some parts of me I had to sieve out too, and not only the outward impact.
It was difficult but,
I had the zeal, a stand and determination.
It can get lonely at times. Actually, most times.
A lot of people are intimidated by someone who’s straight forward, authentic, honest and vocal. So they stay far because they can no longer contain you.
Truth is, everyone loves being in control. How you choose to act it out is what reflects your outcome and how you relate with others.
Meeting someone at your own level may at times feel like a glitch in the matrix. Can be quite unbelievable yet very satisfying!
Priorities change and when they do, best believe you attract exactly what you are!
If you’re of essence, you get just that!
To finally get back at yourself is to be ready to lose all that held you from that.
There is no going back from choosing to love yourself. It is in fact, very rewarding. Every person who dared to prevent you from getting to that point can no longer handle you but you.
You become unstoppable and fierce. A force to be reckoned with!
Hear me out, choosing to love yourself with all your imperfections is the best trophy one can give themselves.
I love to remind people close to me that they must show up for themselves in the best way possible that they can, before going all out for others. If they don’t, no one will because everyone else is looking out for themselves and so will I!
Everything for me, must start from within. Change, free-will and even goals.
From;
Do I really want to go there? Do I want this? How does this make me feel? Is it necessary really?
To;
I’m glad I said that, did that, walked away or even chose that!
Ever since I began asking myself these questions, I realized there is so much that I can and cannot do.
Free will is free indeed and once I realized that, there is so much that I leave out without guilt.
And I truly am content for sieving it all out!